It was a large, white nightshirt that featured an older woman with curlers in her hair and a cup of coffee in her hand. The label said, “one size fits all” but it didn’t say anything about fitting well.
The awkward piece of tent turned shirt hid the important bits, true. But it also hid me pretty well. The short sleeve was actually 3/4 sleeves on me as the white fabric drooped off my shoulders. My tall frame was hidden under the humorous shirt, making me look like a stick figure with a block body. It hid my unique features. It hid my individual style.
I remember that shirt on a daily basis. Most of the time, I can keep my “judgement shirt” under control. However, if I am tired, hungry or frustrated, it becomes untucked. The tent of a shirt looks to engulf others into it’s unflattering folds.
“Why would they do that?”
“You know what she should do . . . “half
“The best thing for him is . . . “
“What we should have done . . . “
“Why do you have to take your half of the grocery aisle out of the middle.”
“They really should put their trash can closer to the curb.”
I judge people. I judge myself. I judge situations. I judge reactions. I judge my judging.
It is a nasty habit that drains my unhappiness when I allow it to run rampant. I know my thoughts are well within my control, and that some think judging is a direct link to how one sees themselves. I know I’m no angel ( she says with a slight smile, knowing she is judging herself).
According to Deepak Chopra in his book, “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, “judging is the constant evaluation of things as right or wrong, good or bad. It is the constantly evaluating, classifying, labeling and analyzing” that occurs in our daily mental processing.
It’s the simple act of trying to put everyone into the a “one size fits all” t-shirt, ignoring their journey, body, challenges, struggles and individuality.
“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
That has been my struggle lately. I believe that we all feel the need to fit in. To see the best of ourselves in the world around us. If someone does something different or for reasons we don’t understand, our natural reaction is to point out what “they should” or could do instead. We point them to “our path” rather than trying to look at their map.
You want to wear a halter top? Awesome? Prefer a boat neck striped cotton fitted tee? Lovely.
But I don’t think a “one size fits all” shirt looks good on you. In fact, I have destroyed it for it doesn’t flatter me either.
Everyone’s “size” and journey is different. The key isn’t to put someone into the “same shirt” but rather acknowledge the differences and respect choices. Accept and welcome the differences. They are what make the world an interesting place.
Resist the urge to buy into the “one size fits all” mentality.